"Community,” as defined in the dictionary, is “a group of people living together in one place, especially one practicing common ownership." To me, community is the feeling of “oneness” and "togetherness." Simply put, being in a community means feeling like you belong to a part of something. Instead of feeling alone, you have this set of people that roam around your subdivision or condominium complex and do the same things that you do, which is to live in harmony with yourself and others. This is how I felt as a unit owner and occupant of the Marimba Building in Rhapsody Residences, located along East Service Road in Barangay Buli, Muntinlupa City.
Photo by Igi Espeleta
Truth be told, for the majority of my life, my “community” was just limited to my family. I live in a compound with them, along with my cousins, and that was my community growing up. I did not grow up in a subdivision or anything like that. I did not play with any of the neighborhood kids or anything like that. As my movements were very limited in the compound, I could not even go out of the house, as going outside would prove to be dangerous for someone my age, as we lived along the highway, which many cars traverse on a daily basis. If I were to play with other kids, it would have to be during birthday parties or Christmas dinners that my family gets invited to. Other than that, most of my bonding time with my family was mostly playing video games with my brothers and cousins and sparking up conversations over dinner with my parents.
Due to our “isolated” lifestyle, I did not get to invite any of my classmates to my home for play during weekends, as I also felt that our homes were far from each other. I remember one time that I tried inviting my classmates to my house for a swimming party, printing out twenty (20) or so invites, and it never pushed through for whatever reason that may be (I may not remember, but probably my parents were against the idea). Though I was able to go to my classmates’ homes during my elementary and high school days to do school projects during weekends, the first time that I ever had guests over at my house was during college! This was at the suggestion of my parents, as they would not allow me to travel somewhere as far as Makati when I did not know how to drive on my own at the time.
In college, I was mostly all by myself, as my brothers were also staying in their respective condominiums or boarding units nearby their colleges, while I continued to remain with my parents at home, as my school was just a drive away and more accessible than my brothers’ schools. My classmates coming to my home was just what I needed. At least [to an extent] they got to experience their own community first-hand, as most likely their schoolmates lived nearby their respective units [or even inside the units].
Eventually, time passed, and my mother was able to acquire a unit at Rhapsody Residences from a family friend who had not been using it for some time. My older brother was the first to occupy it with his girlfriend (at the time, now his wife), as, of course, he was the oldest, and he was also working up in the northern area, while his wife was working at Resorts World Manila at the time, so it was more convenient for them. Plus, I did not know how to drive at that time, so it would be a waste for me to not utilize the unit.
This became their home until they got married in 2020 and had a child of their own, so they moved in with my parents at their second home that was purchased sometime in 2019. I am also staying at said home during the weekdays, whereas I stay with my partner during the weekends at my childhood home (up to this day).
Due to the current living arrangements, the unit was left unused, and my mother did not want it to go to waste, so instead it was suggested that my partner and her sister occupy the unit. This was more convenient as the sister works nearby, so this works in her favor. My younger brother stays in a condo unit at present so he can be near his work while he heads home during the weekends. Again, this makes my weekdays lonely, as despite having my parents and brother around, our interactions are limited only during dinner and sometimes in the morning before I leave for work.
While I am saving a lot on expenses, I still desire that sense of "independence." At 31, I feel that I need to finally go out of the nest and live my life, as my parents have helped me live mine growing up. As they are growing older, I have to let them rest for a while and no longer worry about me. I’ve already expressed my desire to live in with my partner (as we are about to go onto 5 years into our relationship as of this writing), but knowing that her sister is living under the same roof as her, I thought that I would just be intruding, not to mention that we will not have privacy to ourselves, as we need to deepen the relationship more.
Then, for some reason, call it a blessing in disguise or bad luck, but my childhood home had to undergo repairs. This put a dent in my usual routine of staying with my partner during the weekends at my childhood home. So it was suggested by my parents that I stay with her in the condo instead while the house was still being repaired. They said that it was “my turn to have a staycation" at the condo. This would mark the first time that I ever stayed in our unit.
I entered the unit not expecting much because it was just spending the usual weekend with my partner, albeit at a different location and with my partner, because we’re always spending time at my home, so why not try staying at home with her instead and also experience what it is like to be in a live-in relationship, as we have been together for quite some time now? It was through this experience that I got to feel what it is like to live in a community with other people that I could potentially have a connection with.
As I walked around the compound of Rhapsody Residences, I noticed that it was like you were living in a mini subdivision. Remember, all my life I have lived in a compound with my family, and my interactions were limited to them only. Through my short stay at Rhapsody Residences, I sensed that I was doing something common that everyone else was doing, and that was living.
When I would get up with my partner out of bed and we would prepare the table for breakfast, others did that too. When we would do some chores, others would do the same. Community gives you a sense of being—a sense that you are not alone. I am a shy person by nature, but I still enjoyed the sense of feeling that I could get along with these people if I got the chance. Unfortunately, as my stay there was temporary, I could only do so much.
Not only that, but I also got to learn how it is to live with your partner. Our “living in” is limited to the weekends and at my home, away from my parents and siblings, but again, my home is also my parents’ home, so I cannot call it exactly mine.
I was also able to gain a sense of ownership during my short stay at our unit in Rhapsody Residences. Knowing that you are responsible for preparing your own meals, doing your laundry, and cleaning up your unit gives you a sense of independence. All my life, I have been served everything on a silver platter. Admittedly, I had to have my hand held most of the time for the simplest of chores. However, you can say that this was a reality check for me, and I had to adjust to independent living.
The sense of community also extends to neighboring complexes. For instance, I had to travel to the East Bay Residences condominium complex to go to the grocery, and just like Rhapsody, you get to see many different faces doing just the same thing, which is living. They purchase their groceries to go about their needs and sustain their lives. potential to meet new people. I was also able to go to the neighboring “talipapa” near Rhapsody and enter another community.
Community is not just limiting yourselves to what you have in your surroundings. Sure, you can just talk to your neighbors and leave it at that, but humans are naturally social creatures, and it is these connections that we crave because we do not want to be lonely. Even if it is a simple “Hello” or “How do you do?" you do not have to necessarily make friends with everyone, but the potential is there, and you may be that person’s first friend.
In essence, staying in one’s own bubble is good (not to mention safe), but it is also good to explore and get out of your comfort zone, because it is through this that you will experience the true meaning of community.