The standard rule is, once you turn 18, you have to pack your bags and move out of your parents’ house for a shot at independent life. Age and circumstance may vary but young adults are generally encouraged to try living on their own. A lot of them are actually excited at the prospect of moving out and try condo living on their own but the times have changed a lot; now a lot of young adults prefer to stay in the family nest longer. Some who are actually living on their own are moving back to their parents’ house.
According to data from the Pew Research Center, some 21.6 million millennials – or 36 percent of Americans ages 18 to 31 – lived at their parents' residence in 2012.
Factors that contribute to this include difficulties in the job market, declining marriages, and plans to go or go back to college. This is why lots of adults are rethinking the benefits of living with parents.
There are pros and cons in moving out or living at your parents’ house. If you’re one of those who plan to stay longer with Mom and Dad or you’re planning to move back, you have to consider and understand things that can make living with your parents a harmonious one. Just because they’re your parents doesn’t mean you can take rules for granted or you can afford to disrespect their wishes. Here are some of the things to consider when you’re still living with your parents or planning to live with them again.
Their house, their rules
There are children who move out so they can escape their parents’ meddling into their affairs. If you choose to stay in the nest, you have no choice but to be respectful of their rules. Now there’s a way to co-exist better with your parents. You can talk to them heart-to-heart and make compromises on what you can or can’t live with. Know their house rules and negotiate ones that you don’t find convenient for you. These rules include financial contribution, visitors, and privacy.
They will monitor your comings and goings
Even if they told you they wouldn’t interfere with your schedule, they will still keep watch of your comings and goings. You can’t really expect your parents to stop worrying about you. So if you’re living with them, it’s best to call them whenever you’ll be late getting home, or if you’re not going home at all. They will certainly appreciate the courtesy, which is the least you can do for living under their roof.
They will expect you to do chores
Just because you’re not 14 anymore it doesn’t mean you can bail out on household chores. Even if they’re not openly asking you to take out the trash, you should be considerate enough to do it on your own. Help out whenever you can and as much as possible, do your own laundry! Your mom shouldn’t be burdened with washing your clothes anymore.
You should spend time with them
You may think that this is some sort of obligation for getting almost free board and lodging, but this shouldn’t be the case. Think of it as a great opportunity to spend more time with them while you’re still getting ready to spread your wings and finally fly out of the nest. A lot of children don’t get to spend much time with their parents when they’re already living on their own. This is a fine time to get to know your parents more as an adult.
You should help pay the bills
You’re staying with your parents so you can save money or recover from financial troubles. That’s understandable, but it doesn’t mean you can live off them even if you can give your share for the bills. They’re not really expecting you to pay rent, but at least you can offer to pay for the cable or internet. Even if they’re not asking for it outright, you should be adult enough not to be a total burden to your parents at this stage in your life.
You should keep your stuff in order
This is your parents’ house, not your college dorm. You can’t get away with leaving dirty laundry around or littering your room with empty beer bottles. Living with your parents is just like sharing space with an adult and professional roommate; you have to respect each other’s space. Don’t mess up the bathroom and leave dirty dishes in the sink and expect your Mom to clean up for you.
If you have amassed a lot of stuff and you’re planning to move back with your parents, it’s best to downsize first and get rid of things you can live without. Don’t insist on replacing your parents’ couch with yours or make them move their stuff to the basement just to make room for yours. You have to observe the setups applicable to large families when it comes to furniture and other belongings.
Do your intimate relations somewhere else
This is not your pad in which you can invite whomever you please and make them spend the night. Doing this in your parents’ house is disrespectful and certainly one of the things to avoid when living with your parents. It will be awkward for all parties concerned. Even if your parents already know your partner, it’s still not all right for you to let non-spouses to spend the night under their roof. Have the decency to do your private stuff somewhere else.
They will take note of the things you do
Gone are the days that you can lounge all day in your pajamas, eat straight out from the can, and binge-watch your favorite TV shows all day. You may think that there’s nothing wrong with it but parents will always be parents and they will think that you’re an irresponsible slob slacking off on the things you should do as a mature adult.
Condo living with your parents during difficult times is a blessing you should never take for granted. You will have to deal with the pros and cons of living with family. Allowing you to partake of the security of their home while you’re still not ready to go off on your own is a grand gesture that only parents can make. As an adult, you have to be respectful of your parents’ expectations in order to live in harmony with them.